A lot of parenting advice is loud.
It’s full of rules, systems, arguments, and opinions. Everyone seems to have a method, a framework, or a strong belief about what you should be doing — and what you’re doing wrong.
But most of that disappears when no one is watching.
To me, being a good parent isn’t something you perform. It’s not something you post. It’s what happens in the quiet moments, the boring ones, the ones that don’t make for good stories.
The moments that don’t get credit.
It’s Showing Up When It’s Not Convenient
Being a good parent looks like getting up when you’re tired.
Not the heroic kind of tired — the everyday kind. The kind that never really goes away. The kind where you’d rather sit down and disappear into your own thoughts for a while, but you don’t.
It looks like answering the same question again. And again. And again.
It looks like stopping what you’re doing because something matters more, even if it’s small. Even if it feels unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
No one applauds that. No one notices. But kids do.
It’s Creating a Sense of Safety Without Saying It
Kids don’t need constant entertainment. They don’t need perfection. They don’t need parents who have everything figured out.
They need safety.
Not just physical safety — emotional safety. The kind where they know:
- you’ll be there
- you won’t explode over every mistake
- you won’t disappear when things get hard
That kind of safety isn’t built with speeches. It’s built with consistency.
Being there.
Being calm when you can.
Owning it when you’re not.
Sometimes it’s just sitting nearby while they play. Not hovering. Not scrolling. Just there.
Those moments don’t feel productive. But they matter more than most things we do.
It’s Teaching Without Lecturing
Some of the most important lessons kids learn don’t come from words at all.
They come from watching:
- how you handle frustration
- how you treat other people
- how you spend your time
- how you talk about money, work, and life
Kids notice everything. Even when you think they aren’t paying attention.
They notice if you fix things instead of throwing them away.
They notice if you value time more than stuff.
They notice if you slow down.
You don’t have to explain every lesson. Most of the time, you shouldn’t.
Live it. Let them see it.
It’s Choosing Presence Over Distraction
We live in a world that constantly pulls at our attention.
Phones. Screens. Noise. Endless input.
Being a good parent today often looks like resisting that pull — even just a little.
It’s choosing to be present when it would be easier to check out.
It’s listening to a story that doesn’t go anywhere.
Watching something that doesn’t interest you.
Stopping to answer a question when your mind is somewhere else.
Those moments don’t feel special when they’re happening. But later, they’re everything.
Kids remember who noticed them.
This is a big reason why I’ve written about slowing down and stepping outside modern hustle culture and always being entertained 24/7/365 days of the year.
It’s Letting Them See Real Life
Being a good parent doesn’t mean pretending life is easy.
It means letting kids see:
- effort
- failure
- repair
- patience
Letting them see you work with your hands. Letting them see you try again when something doesn’t work. Letting them see that things take time.
This is one of the reasons I value simple living and working with my hands so much. Kids learn more from watching you build, fix, grow, and care for things than they ever will from being told how the world works.
Life doesn’t need to be curated for them. It needs to be real.
This ties closely into what homesteading actually means to me — not land ownership, but how you choose to live day to day.
It’s Playing the Long Game
Good parenting is mostly invisible in the short term.
There’s no immediate payoff. No clear signal that you’re doing it right. Just a lot of days that feel the same.
But you’re planting things you won’t see for years:
- trust
- confidence
- resilience
- curiosity
You don’t know which moments will stick. So you treat them all like they matter.
Because they do.
It’s Loving Them Even When You’re Drained
There are days when you feel like you have nothing left to give.
Those days still count.
Being a good parent isn’t about feeling endlessly patient or fulfilled. It’s about choosing love even when you’re tired, frustrated, or overwhelmed.
Sometimes love looks like warmth and laughter.
Sometimes it looks like boundaries and saying no.
Sometimes it looks like silence and sitting together.
None of that is flashy. None of it gets attention.
But it builds something solid.
What It Really Comes Down To
Being a good parent, when no one is watching, looks like this:
- showing up
- staying steady
- choosing presence
- living your values quietly
- loving without needing recognition
It’s not perfect. It’s not pretty. It’s not always peaceful.
But it’s real.
And in the end, that’s what matters most.
– Just a note from the yard.